Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A Leaking Ship

I have a leaking ship to captain right now. It needs all my atttention.
Can I like bore you with my thoughts, say after March 8th? I suppose, you shall all be able to survive the deprevation just fine, as my two cents worth are not really worth two cents.
Anyhoos, let's not say Good Bye, but rather Till We Meet Again on March 8.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Caulfield's Complaint Is So Mine!

Sometimes, you come across a few lines which sum up exactly what you think or thought up of except that somebody else had already thought it up 50 years before you did and hatefully, had written it down so much better than you could ever hope to. Sometimes you hate that somebody for that. But most times you feel a certain kinship with that somebody. Well, there were so many many many instances of the later kind while I was reading Catcher In the Rye. Take this excerpt -

"And yet I still act sometimes like I was only about twelve. Everybody says that, especially my father. It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think that something's all true. I don't give a damn, except that I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometimes I act a lot older than I am -I really do- but people never notice it."

Holden Caulfield's complaint is mine! It is so true. Take how I behave around my folks - childish , pouty, throwing mock tantrums, etc etc the usual 5 year old's behaviour. But, at times of need, I have often been very perceptive and very wise. But, they rarely remember these moments (It is not important whether these moments of wiseness come but rarely. The important thing is whether they come when needed.) Sigh! I suppose one behaves in a certain unique way with every person in one's life.

One of Those Days When You Feel Old in Your Bones

I was struggling to describe how I felt really old in my bones while I was sitting on a bench in the field behind my office just yesterday. But I needn't have tried. Tolkein said it all, much more hauntingly, much more beautifully-

I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall ever see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.

Wilde Witticisms

"One is sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left."
~ Jack Worthing in The Importance of Being Earnest

PS: Its a pretty damn funny play!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

From Xenophon's Memorable Thoughts of Socrates - 2

Found this para in the above book worthy of some mulling over -

" [Socrates on] being asked what was the best study for man to apply himself to, he answered, "To do well;" and being asked farther whether good fortune was the effect of study, "On the contrary," said he, "I think good fortune and study to be two opposite things; for what I call good fortune is, when a man meets with what is necessary for him, without the trouble of seeking it; but when he meets with any good success after a tedious search and labour, it is an effect of study.  This is what I call to do well; and I think that all who take delight in this study are for the most part successful, and gain the esteem of men, and the affection of the Deity.  Such are they as have rendered themselves excellent in economy, in physic, and in politics; but he who knows not any one thing perfectly is neither useful to men, nor beloved by the gods."

Monday, February 11, 2008

Happiness Makes Us Insensitive

Have you observed how, happiness makes us insensitive? Like when you were happy, you couldn't comprehend or were patient enough to hear out or really feel for someone who's in not so great state?

Monday, February 04, 2008

Two Kinds - An Elaboration

The last post (Two Kinds) got me into a bit of fix. As many as 5 people contacted me with a range of questions –

Person 1: “who are the people you referring to in particular?”
Person 2: “just curious, what incident brought this up?”
Person 3: “you talking about me?”
Person 4: “what makes you think so cynically?”
Person 5:

As much as I am pleased that people actually read my blog, I was a little peeved with the pathetic fix I managed to create for myself. I dislike acting like one of those muddled people who think in circles and create trouble, most of all for themselves. As I like hearing myself talk and as I have plenty of other urgent things to attend to, I shall now set out to elaborate.

Why are we nice? The simplest explanation is that we are innately good. But its far too simple to be true all the time.

Are we nice from choice or from lack of choice? Did that tiny voice ever question you ‘would you still be nice if you had the guts to be otherwise?’? Ever wondered whether you are nice because it comes naturally, or because you are afraid of the consequences? Would you still not put your hand in the cookie jar, if there wasn’t a CCTV watching your every move? Would you pilfer pennies from the kiddos if you didn’t have to worry about your soul? Would you cheat on your partner if you didn’t have to face judgement? Simply put, would you still be good if you didn’t need to be good? Would you be nice, only and only, for its own sake?

Some will say ‘aye’. Some may say ‘depends’. But there are some people who will actually say ‘no’. These are the cowards I am talking about. They are nice because they are too afraid to be otherwise. They use it as a camouflage to hide their weaknesses.

I have always believed that fear is more potent than goodness. For most people at least. It isn’t goodness that restrains humans a lot of times. It is something more powerful - fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of consequences. Fear of loss of power/ego/honor/.

I am not saying being nice is being weak. Heck! It’s downright an achievement to be nice these days with the world going to the dogs and all. What I am saying is, niceness has become a camouflage for the weak.

To have flaws is natural.
To struggle to triumph over these flaws is worthy of respect.
To hide these flaws behind a façade of niceness…now that, my dear reader, is cowardly. And cowards are dangerous people.

So the next time you pat yourself on the back for being nice, ask your conscience whether you were good for the sake of goodness and not because you were a coward. Then really listen. For the answer shall tell you the stuff you are made up of.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Two Kinds

There are some people who are nice because it is their nature. Then there some who are nice because they are too cowardly to be anything else. The first kind are harmless, the later kind lethal …


Friday, February 01, 2008

No Time For Conversation

Yesterday, a friend complained that it was very hard to catch me over the weekends and that appointments with me have to be booked in advance. And to illustrate his point, he was trying to make a plan to hangout when he is actually overseas. This made me do a double take and was a bit of a shocker, if you ask me.

I have often prided myself about my availability to friends. I am usually game for trying things or simply sitting down for a good conversation. Conversation is key. I forget things easily. But I don't forget conversations easily. Take my college years. More than the lessons, more than the laughs, more than the trips, I remember exact details of so and so conversation and the effect it had. So, for a pal to accuse me of being unavailable for a good conversation troubled me.

I went to bed thinking. True, it has been a while since I did the library jaunts with RR, or eaten a good morsel with Unpredictable. I haven't pinged XL, or met with S and a cluster of others in eons. My JC best pal hasn't been contacted since his Turkey trip. It aint that anybody is sitting around and missing me. We all have lives to live. It's just that, I haven't been doing my part with some people.

Then I tried working out why I have been self absorbed lately. Its okay to be self absorbed. We need to introspect before we are good company. But being obsessed with oneself is not okay. And I have begun to harbor an unhealthy obsession with being the moral paragon. Lately, I've been taking everything as a test of integrity or wisdom or faith or <fill-grand-sounding-ideal-here> ideals that I hold dear. Now, its beginning to grate. I mean, a little more of this, I could probably be a TV evangelist.

Demanding the most of yourself is the best thing you can do to yourself. But demanding to be perfect at the expense of a little bit of fun is a bit of an overkill. So, I should probably loosen up, giddyup and have my little bit o' fun while the laughs last.