Stop Playing the Victim

The best way to get over hurt, or not being hurt is to stop playing the victim.

If you didnt get that promotion, challenge 'em. If you didnt get good service, demand it. If he didnt call back, ditch him and conquer the other 3 billion men. If you were sexually/racially/ethnically discriminated, shove it back down their throats and move on. If you didnt get into that school, well admit that you wrote a shitty essay. If you didn't lose those 5 lbs, then be prepared to keep them. If fate seems to treat you nastily, get off that couch and write your own fate.

Anything but playing the victim.

We live in a self-absorbed world. Nobody has too much time these days to victimise you. So perhaps, then, you will stop feeling that shit happens in life and it usually always happens to you.

Why the God Google Is Not Good For Me

I love Google.
Make no mistake.
But it has ruined me in a lot of ways. One of the most discernable way is I no longer remember facts. With Google around, I don’t have to. Therefore, I have come to the days where I can no longer remember how to convert Celsius to Farenheit, I forget if I am supposed to boil the water before adding tea leaves or the milk, I don’t remember any jokes, I fail to recall if “Not Marble nor …” is Sonnet #55 or Sonnet #15.

Google also makes me stupid …
Person 1: “Hey, whats 9x8?”
Me: “Let me google.”

Google makes me uncool…
Person 2: “Here’s the joke: An American, a Russian and an Indian went to a World Telecommunications Confe- .…”
Me: “Hey, I know that one. Came across that one on Google. Ha!(superior smirk)”

Google renders me an incompetent Agony Aunt.…
Friend 1: “I cant figure out if he said “I’ll call you back” in a “I-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-ever-again”-I’ll call you back, or in a “I-am-too-busy-checking-out-pamela-anderson-on-google-to-talk-to-you”-I’ll call you back. Help me.
Me: I don’t rightly know. Perhaps if we google ….

And the worst –
Person 3: “How are you doing?”
Me: “I am feeling lucky” (You didn’t get it didja? Shame! A true Googler worth his salt would have.)

But wait, I forget. The bottom of the pile really is that my uber dull conversations have now become dismal.

They have begun to sound like this:
“You know there is dude called…whatshisname…this French sounding name, I think its Zulu-something, whatever, u know these French names....well he wrote this editorial in this Paris tabloid, I forget its name, but well, it was sorta against the imprisonment of this guy...err, some military guy like General Dreyfus or whatever, forget what exactly he was imprisoned for, but u know sorta wrongfully done so…. in like u know sometime in the 1920s or was it the 1860s..like whatever…”

Back in the days without Google, it would have sounded like this:
“Emile Zola, shocked Parisians, one morning in 1898, with his front page article “J’accuse” in the Paris newspaper L’Aurore. He accused the government of judicial discrimination against Jews in the Dreyfus Affair. This article polarized France, put his career and life under threat and paved the way for judicial equality and political liberalization.

You bet Google did me a disservice.

Kinky Conversations

Some conversations I had with Kinky. We somehow have these profound conversations when we meet (which is once in every 4 months) but always end up having 5 year old arguments online... (Kinky, I am posting them without your permission, but I know you wouldnt be vexed)

me: meow. i know red button = busy. but just saying meow

Kinky: woof. woof me: vokays. now that we had a very meaningful conversation, let's say bye

And yet another:
me: why are u flying blind - u might run into a telephone pole [referring to his status message "Flying Blind"]

Kinky: its a reference

me: to some lame song? [referring to a previous status message of his which was the Beatles walrus song]
Kinky: to how i do my work

Kinky: x(

walrus is a bloody good song

go im not talking to u

cheap woman

go die

me: vokay. vokay. i give up. walrus is a gud song.

Disturbing tale of The Turn of the Screw

I read The Turn of the Screw a couple of days ago. Probably one of the most discussed, ambiguous and enigmatic American novellas of the 20th century. I am sorry about the superlatives. But it is. Critics are divided into two camps of interpretation of this book - the Hallucinationists, and the Apparitionists.

By and far, I believe that the Hallucinationist theories are a tad bit over the top, brought about by reading too much Freud. But certain sentences made me wonder and question the sanity of the narrator and whether she was a sexually repressed governess, overly suspicious about the corruption of the children. If it was so, I pity them. The terror they had to live in, one minute smothered by her volatile affections, in another braving her violent suspicions.

Even if it was meant to be a literal, old fashioned ghost story, it is still disturbing. Henry James, never comes right out to spell the evil that Miles was corrupted with. Loss of innocence is vaguely grasped by the reader. But what really was it that was being insinuated? The cloying ambiguity is as terrifying as the ghostly apparitions.

I was baffled by the book. I was frustrated, too. Henry James crafted an ambiguous tale where it is left up to the narrator to wonder and to draw conclusions. It is the reader who imagines the evil. This story remains as disturbing as it was in the 1890s because our capacity to imagine various Evils never sits well with our moral training.

A few reasons to adore "I, Claudius"

Rarely have I been this constant in my love for a book. Rarely. "I,Claudius" had such an impact on me that I cannot begin to write it here for I shall embarrass myself in my attempts. Instead, let me write here of some of the wisdom that lies within.

"I, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, this-that-and-the-other who was once, and not so long ago either, known to my friends and relatives and associates as "Claudius the Idiot", or "That Claudius", or "Claudius the Stammerer", or "Clau-Clau-Claudius" or at best ..."
~the famous first line.

"I had perhaps traveled farther, hobbling on my lame leg, than most men would have traveled on a sound pair, because only too conscious of my disability I allowed no halts or slackening of pace."

"You eat too much and drink too much. You must stop that. Make a rule to rise from the table without an unsatisfied longing for just one little thing more." ~ Xenephon, a Cos physician of Emperor Claudius

"And my advice to you, my friend Silas, is never to remind people of services that you have done them in the times past. If they are grateful and honourable men they will not need any reminder, and if they are ungrateful and dishonourable, the reminder will be wasted on them"
~ Herod Agrippa in "Claudius, the God"

"Things must be far worse before they can be better" ~ Pollio, the last of the Romans

"Pollio said (to young Claudius): "What's that you're reading, boy? Trash, I'll be bound, by the shamefaced way you hide it. Young fellows nowadays read only trash."
He turned to Livy: "I'll bet you ten gold pieces that it's some wretched 'Art of Love' or Arcadian pastoral nonsense, or something of that sort."
"I'll take the bet" said Livy. "Young Claudius is not that sort of young man at all. Well, Claudius, which of us wins?"
I said stammering to Pollio: "I'm glad to say sir, that you lose."
Pollio frowned angrily at me: "What's that you say? Glad that I lose, eh? Is that a proper way to speak to an old man like me, and a senator too?
I said:"I said it in all respect, sir. I am glad that you lose. I should not like to hear this book called trash. It's your own history of the Civil Wars and, if I may venture to praise it, a very fine book indeed." "

"Phaemon's dog was right." ~ Vitellius's last words referring to Phaemon the philosopher's dog.

"I meant, of course, that the fellow was concealing his immunity from what every honest man considered a very thankless and disagreeable duty and he threfore was almost certain to have crooked intention." ~ on the infamous remark"He want to be a jury man. Strike him off."

What They Say During Meetings, and What They Mean

What they say during meetings, and what they mean....especially in the Civil Services..

What they say: "I shall review and revert in two weeks"
What they mean: "I shall promptly forget about this for two weeks and then hastily make some changes to the indenting and add a couple of lines to the 346 paged document and submit it for your approval again"

What they say: "The progress is on schedule"
What they mean:"I havent actually gotten around to checking the progress as I was busy typing 4 mile long emails to my bosom buddy from kindergarten and squabbling with my wife over the phone as to who gets to pick up the monster-brats from school."

What they say: "We are looking into solving the issues"
What they mean:"We are hoping that the issues will disappear if we continue to ignore them long enough."

What they say: "I am happy to answer any questions"
What they mean:"Lets all just get the hell out of here as it is lunch/tea/coffee/nap/brunch/noon break. Even if you care enough to ask a question, which I know you dont as i caught you dozing off when I was on my 235th ppt slide, I wont be able to answer as my flunky who put this 357 slides presentation together at 2am this morning as I remembered about this meeting at 7.30 pm yesterday and told her about it at 8.30pm is not here as she is busy right now trying to get her heart working again in the ICU."