The last post (Two Kinds) got me into a bit of fix. As many as 5 people contacted me with a range of questions –
Person 1: “who are the people you referring to in particular?”
Person 2: “just curious, what incident brought this up?”
Person 3: “you talking about me?”
Person 4: “what makes you think so cynically?”
Person 5:
As much as I am pleased that people actually read my blog, I was a little peeved with the pathetic fix I managed to create for myself. I dislike acting like one of those muddled people who think in circles and create trouble, most of all for themselves. As I like hearing myself talk and as I have plenty of other urgent things to attend to, I shall now set out to elaborate.
Why are we nice? The simplest explanation is that we are innately good. But its far too simple to be true all the time.
Are we nice from choice or from lack of choice? Did that tiny voice ever question you ‘would you still be nice if you had the guts to be otherwise?’? Ever wondered whether you are nice because it comes naturally, or because you are afraid of the consequences? Would you still not put your hand in the cookie jar, if there wasn’t a CCTV watching your every move? Would you pilfer pennies from the kiddos if you didn’t have to worry about your soul? Would you cheat on your partner if you didn’t have to face judgement? Simply put, would you still be good if you didn’t need to be good? Would you be nice, only and only, for its own sake?
Some will say ‘aye’. Some may say ‘depends’. But there are some people who will actually say ‘no’. These are the cowards I am talking about. They are nice because they are too afraid to be otherwise. They use it as a camouflage to hide their weaknesses.
I have always believed that fear is more potent than goodness. For most people at least. It isn’t goodness that restrains humans a lot of times. It is something more powerful - fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of consequences. Fear of loss of power/ego/honor/.
I am not saying being nice is being weak. Heck! It’s downright an achievement to be nice these days with the world going to the dogs and all. What I am saying is, niceness has become a camouflage for the weak.
To have flaws is natural.
To struggle to triumph over these flaws is worthy of respect.
To hide these flaws behind a façade of niceness…now that, my dear reader, is cowardly. And cowards are dangerous people.
So the next time you pat yourself on the back for being nice, ask your conscience whether you were good for the sake of goodness and not because you were a coward. Then really listen. For the answer shall tell you the stuff you are made up of.
5 comments:
eckxsellent! very nicely argued.
some thoughts (since I obsessively, compulsively have to voice my opinion on everything, especially subjects that I have no idea about):
(1) you are so right.. truly "character is what you are in the dark".
(2) cynical side note: that said, fear of punishment has its own utility. Too see that, you only have to compare the safety in a country with strict policing to the chaos and criminal activity in a country where such checks-and-balances are lax. Therefore, I am glad that there are a lot of people who can be cowed into being nice. If this is only out of fear of being flogged or fined or sharing-a-prison-cell-with-an-ex-truck-driver-named-Sue, so be it. Face it, most of us need constant prodding to remind ourselves to be civil to our fellow beings. Better a coward who's scared to be anything but nice, than a sociopath who fears no retribution for his evils (Exhibit A: Hitler, Stalin). More CCTVs, I say! (yes, I have all the makings of a tyrant).
(3) probably a greater mistake I make: that of cynically assuming that someone's actions are nice because they are 'soft' (or even cowardly), when in truth it is a sign of genuine character!
On(2) Totally agree. I actually thought of touching on this in the post, but decided it was too much of a sidey note :-) Aye, for CCTV at times. I rather walk home feeling secure than wonder about that stalker who might pop from the shadows and give me a nasty surprise :-)
On (3), aye! i have often observed aggressiveness is overrated and niceness is scoffed these days. What times we have come to :-)
"I have always believed that fear is more potent than goodness." ....
Do you believe that people are inherently good or not-good?
I have always believed that people are good.
Also, as psychologists say, there's a difference between passive (which you might call nice), assertive, and aggressive. You can be assertive and nice -- stand up for yourself, but still nice. Ja.
Hey Ange! Whatssup. Actually, as contrary to the post as I may sound, I believe that humans are inherently good. I believe in their goodness. But with a caveat - that we are also capable of incredible cruelty. given a trigger point.
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