There was a store in our colony where we did most of our grocery shopping. I often ran the chore of getting a dozen eggs from the store for Mother. I liked that chore. I liked to feel eggy cool smoothness. Hunt for cracks. Jiggle 'em a bit. Pick the largest. I took my time. The owner didn't mind. He knew me since my toddler years and he let me select my own dozen eggs.
On one particular trip when I was 9, I laid them carefully in a paper bag and walked over to pay up. While walking, I counted them all over again. I counted 11. So I grabbed one more egg and added it to the paper bag. At the counter, the owner-uncle took my money. Before stapling it, he took a quick peek and counted. He counted 13. He looked up and looked at me. Or rather, he gave me a look. A very quiet look. A very very quiet look. A look that held me guilty. Without saying a word, he took one egg out and stapled the bag.
I, very puzzled, opened my mouth to protest. I grabbed the bag and counted. I counted 12. I shut my 9 year old mouth. He gave me another look. Other customers witnessed this, convinced of my guilt. A nine year old cheat, their eyes said. But I didnt say anything. Nothing in my defense. What could I say? I didnt know how to count? I counted incorrectly? I really wasnt stealing? After that day, he always counted my eggs over the years. And after that, i didn't like my chore any more. I was guilty every time I stepped in his store.
It took just one egg to lose my credibility.
This ancient memory still stings - the helpless humiliation of being thought a cheat. That one egg quite simply wiped out any possible desire to really pilfer pennies or shoplift for real. And from that one egg stems my abhorrence to a situation where the integrity of my actions or motives are questioned and where I have to explain myself or prove my honesty. Because I know I shall do a bad job of proving it. As bad a job as on that day when I was 9 years old.
So I choose to speak the difficult truths everyday. In any given situation. Especially with people who are part of my life 24x7. And expect the honesty be returned in good number. And expect to be trusted. Always.
2 comments:
As I see it, the repercussions of an incident like that came out to be good, I'd think so too, but I think, there is a good chance that we'd learn the same later in our lives by some other means. Anyway, Given your episode, I can't stop but to think, how stupid or call it immature, can the shopkeeper be, who'd question the intentions of a 9 yr old kid?! no matter what the mistake was...
nice :)
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