Family Pride

Should we be proud about the achievements of our fathers and forefathers?  Don't say 'of course' right away. Give it 2 seconds of thought.

I first had this argument with a couple of pals on a train. Without reaching any particular conclusion, we changed the topic after a bit, as it raised a lot more ideological differences than were necessary when embarking on a vacation. Recently, it surfaced again. So, I posed the question to a eight or so people. Most, including Mom, felt along the lines of, "Of course. But not to the point of haughtiness."  There was just one who, said, "No. Maybe happy, but not proud. Because you didn't contribute to their achievements." My take exactly.

Personally speaking, I have numerous reasons to be proud about my grandpapa and even my great grandfather. But, I am not proud about them. I view their achievements with gladness and admiration. But not pride. I wonder if this is just me being the fundamentally emotionally distant person that I am. But, then again, hear me out - I have a very valid point.

How can I be proud about their achievements, when I had no relevance, not even a jot, no part, not even an iota, to play in their greatness? My soul hasn't changed for the better, nor has it struggled to achieve their greatness. I have a right to be proud if, and only if, my soul was involved in the end result.

Of course, I am 'proud' when India totally screws Pakistan in cricket. But it's a different kind of pride. This one's a superficial emotion, something that disappears after a couple of days. Something that hardly stirs my innards and glorifies my soul. Let's call this superficial emotion, Level 1 Pride.

The same rule applies to my personal achievements. I am only Level 2 proud when I have struggled. I hardly value my academic achievements (the paltry few). They have come easily. However, I am proud (Level 2) of myself for having chosen the 'ethically/morally right thing to do' instead of something I wanted to do badly during many instances of my life. I am, also, incredibly proud about the fact that I led 4 years of my life honourably, in a way that lived up to my and my parents' moral standards even when there were no social or parental restraints. Let's just say these werent as easy-as-ABC choices. I am sure, ye all have such instances too. Such instances as these are what contribute to my innate love for myself. My great grandfather's legendary generosity to the poor doesn't contribute to that.

Anyways, I digress (I am not proud (level 1 or otherwise) about my garrulous verbosity). Bottom line, I am proud (level 1) of my family.  If you say I have to be proud (level 2) of my family, I say I don't have the right.

This is my take. A lot of you out there will disagree. That's okay. Let's just agree to disagree.

Note: I am still wide-eyed admiration when someone tells me about the wonderful things about their family. It's just that, I am more admiring when they tell me about their own achievements.